January 21, 2011

Blurb of the Day #2

Haven't written one of these in SO LONG. And this isn't really anything fancy, just a thought that crossed my mind recently.

I'm taking a Personality psych course right now and it got me thinking how weird humans think and act. Let me give you an example: I know certain males who express their annoyance with females who randomly bring up their boyfriends while chatting...

Girl: *appears out of nowhere* Hey!
Guy: Hey...
Girl: Nice watch! It looks just like my boyfriend's.
Guy: Thanks...? *thinks of something nice to say in return* Ugh, nice shoes...?
Girl: Haha thanks! Better not be coming on to me now, my boyfie will get jealous ^^!

Okay, what?! Let me get this straight...girl initiates conversation, yet girl accuses guy of showing interest in her? Makes no sense. Or how about this one:

Guy: Hey, new phone? It's different from last week's.
Girl: Yeah, but it's not that new anymore since I dropped it that night I went for dinner with my boyfriend for our anniversary. He said he'll buy me a new one though, he's a sweetheart.

 Okay, I understand why that's annoying. The girl had no need to bring up her boyfriend when the guy is clearly asking her about her phone and nothing else. "Or is he?!?!" the girl must be thinking. Ummm...paranoid much?

Here's the thing though...ARE THEY REALLY OVER-THINKING????? Read on before judging us females as paranoid beings...

 I'm sure the above is quite ridiculous, but what about the opposite? What if the guy is talking to the girl purely because he wants to hook up with her, not because he is genuinely interested in being friends? I've heard stories like this too from my girlfriend's point of view:

Guy: Hey there! 
Girl: Hi...do I know you?
Guy: Nope, but I just wanted to let you know you're cute =)
Girl: Um, thanks....=)

Now, what should she do next? How should she react? Should she be a paranoid bum and announce "HEY HEY WATCH IT BUDDY I'M NOT AVAILABLE!!!!" But wait, what is she suppose to say when the guy gets all defensive and says "whoa I just wanted to be friends! Did I SAY I'm asking you out? Did I SAY I'm interested in you as a girl and not as a friend? Did I ASK if you single/taken? No!" Wouldn't that just be embarrassing for the girl? She'll be accused of overreacting!

In this kind of situation, isn't it the right thing to be friends with the guy? He hasn't asked you straight out "hey I wanna date youuuuu!!!" If he really wanted to ask you out or what not, he would have made his intentions clear from the moment he approached you, right? So there's nothing wrong with chatting with him! See, this all works fine if he really wanted to just chat and be friends...

BUT. A little while later he finds that you reject his offer to be his girlfriend/other half/significant other. He then reacts like so:


Umm, okay. So, she was WRONG in thinking that you were a guy who was actually interested in getting to know her as a person/friend, rather than as another hot girl he is attracted to and wants to get with?? I understand if she was REALLY being suggestive...but if she is conversing nicely with you, who are you to say she wasn't just being friendly?

So. How is she wrong? IS she wrong? And if she is wrong, how then, ladies and gents, do YOU think one should converse with the opposite sex?  Defensively? Or openly, which some may assume as being suggestive?

(Before you charge at me for being sexist, let me say that I'm sure something like this happens the other way around too, with guys being defensive/paranoid OR too nice to girls who come on to them. But it seems more common THIS way, doesn't it?)

So there you have it. You just can't find anyone to blame in these situations, can you? Just another problem unsolved. If only there was a handbook on how to communicate with others...

Man, this course is giving me a headache. I'll never stop thinking about thinking ever again. o__O


ThisIsAlx said...

grrrrr this is sooo complecated but i have soo much to say for each scenario!!! dont know where to startttt>< kk let see wat i rmb... for the first half... i think it depends on how long they have been firend for.. maybe she kinda sense that he's after her soo even in the simplest conversation she would bring up her bf just "in case" he IS interested in her or just incase he makes any further move, that way the guy would get the sign early on and not chase after her when she's clearly not interested in him.. but i dont think she should bring up her bf in every single sentence lol thats just hilarious...

second half... i think those spontaneous comment could be a prank, could be a dare that the guy had to go thru, could be a perv just going around trying to a get girl... but if that guys was sincere and i was the taken girl i would joke around with him first to make thing less serious then be like "well, where's ure gf..." (just asking although he's a stranger ahha) guy: "i dont have a gf ;)", me "but i do, not a gf of course but a bf =P" ...

idont know this one is hard i dont like those comments it's too direct that it scares me haha

the.red.bow. said...

LOL! I know, I hate direct comments too, I don't know what to say. Buuut I think I prefer that over the small hints...because they're so discrete about it so I have to be too, and then I can only hint back. But then they just ignore my hints lol XD.

It's just troublesome -_-"

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